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As a warm-up, I asked 11 men and 9 women to discuss the attributes they would look for in a life partner.As a group, we agreed that confidence is one of the most important qualities that both men and women look for in a potential mate.Confidence signals that a person is emotionally healthy and at peace with who they are.In fact, the men said that possessing confidence is so critical to a woman’s appeal that it directly influences a man’s perception of her physical beauty and intelligence (attributes that they would also look for in a potential long-term partner.)Tip: Confidence is the determining factor in a woman’s appeal, influencing a man’s perception of her physical beauty and intelligence.After years of working in the corporate world, I have come to this realization: that men and women have different ideas of what alpha looks and acts like.
The catch is that men and women look for different cues to signal confidence.
I asked both men and women women to look at photos A and B (below) and tell me which of the two models projected strength and confidence.
Many women have told me that they believe their relationships fizzle out—or that they aren’t attractive to men in the first place—because they are “too Alpha.” The thinking is that a man prefers to feel superior to his potential mate, so if you project success and intellectual ability, you will scare away eligible bachelors.
(And be careful about seeming too independent or competent, some say.)Yet, we see time and again that exceptionally smart, successful women do captivate quality men.
Two recently married celebrities, Angelina Jolie and Amal (Alamuddin) Clooney, are popular examples of Alpha Female magnetism.