28-Jun-2016 03:02

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This means when you first meet us (and for the next 6 months) it’s going to be difficult deciphering what we’re trying to communicate.Throw in some regional dialects and confusing swear words and it’s probably best you just smile and nod 90% of the time. Despite having possibly the most mundane weather patterns in the entire world, it seems to be a subject we to talk about. The entire country goes into shutdown if we get 4 inches of snow (rare) and if it happens to be sunny for more than 3 consecutive days (even rarer) we will ban people from watering their lawn.

A "fag" is a cigarette, not a derogatory term for a homosexual; when we’re "pissed" we aren’t angry - we’re drunk; and if we call you a "muppet" we aren’t comparing you to Kermit, we just think you’re a fucking idiot.

British slang is the best because it is so diverse and it is pronounced so well.

British culture ensures that we have to be polite to everyone we meet; if we like you’ll we’ll relax and start insulting you as an indication of our friendship, if we forever remain formal then alarm bells should start ringing. Within an hour drive from my front door I can get to Liverpool, Manchester, Sheffield, Birmingham and get a fair way to Leeds.

Each of these cities has a distinct culture and accent to go along with a bristling rivalry with anyone from their neighbouring town.

Most of this stems from football (proper football - not kind of football) and the anger and resentment runs deep.

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So if you get confused and mix up Manchester with Liverpool I’m going to be offended, and heaven forbid you ask if I come from London. As mentioned above, England is a small place and the accents on that tiny isle are many and varied.

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