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One of the first things you should be doing if you’re having a lot of dating problems is to start keeping records. It’s a forest for the trees issue; you’re so up close and personal that you can’t see what’s going on.You’re frustrated, you’re horny, you want to make that next date work…you’re not really in any position to be at all objective or to take the larger view.If you want to start pinpointing issues, you need to have the raw, dispassionate data and you’re not going to have that just from your day to day observations. The benefit of keeping a journal is that it is a record of events that’s going to be more reliable than just trusting your memory to keep everything straight.If you have a journal of some form, then make sure that any entries that involve your dating problems are tagged appropriately so you can find and group them quickly and efficiently.
And – more to the point for this exercise – keeping a dating journal means that you’ll have data about your issue.
Personally, I’d suggest designating a specific journal or file exclusively for this purpose; this makes it much easier to look at it en masse when it’s time to go back over what you’ve written.
One of the hardest parts of dating is that, more often than not, you’re doing it in a vacuum.
It’s not exactly as though you can hand out comment cards to your dates and ex-girlfriends and get some constructive criticism. Second, many times it’s not going to be actionable advice anyway.
And third, let’s be honest: they just left you for a reason. Unless you’ve got someone who’s actually watching every move you make, you’re going to have to do your own relationship troubleshooting.